esperate, reckless,▓ impatient of discovery.Guilt alw●ays hurries towards its complement, punishm▓ent: only there d

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bound as we were ha●nd and foot to each other, only an upheaval o▓f some sort could restore each to his ▓vulgar right mind.The

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se days were f●ull of omens and warnings upon which our anxiety● fed.One-eyed Hamid told me one day of a myste▓rious caller who had told him that he m●ust keep careful watch on his master ●as he was in great danger from some h▓ighly-placed personage.His descrip●tion of the man

might have been t●hat of Selim, Nessim’s secretary: but i●t also might h

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ave been any of the 150,000 inhabi●tants of the province.Meanwhile Nessim 癔s own attitude to me had changed, or ra▓ther deepen

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ed into a solicitous ●and cloying sweetness.He shed his forme●r reserve.When he spoke to m●e he used unfamiliar endearments and took m▓e affectionately by the slee▓ve.At times as we spoke he wou●ld flush suddenly: or tears would come▓ into his eyes and he would turn aside hi●s head to hide them.Justine watched this with a● concern which was painful to● observe.But the very humiliation and● self-reproach we felt at woun▓ding him only drove us closer● together as accomplices.At times she spok▓e of going away: at times I did the same.▓ But neither of us could move.We ▓were forced to await the outcome with a fatal▓ity and exhaustion th

at was truly f▓earful to experience.Nor were ou▓r follies diminished by these warning▓s; rather did they multiply.A dreadful inadve▓rtency reigned over our action●s, an appalling thoughtlessnes●s marked our behaviour.Nor did we (and ▓here I realized that I had lost myself complet●ely) even hope to avert whatever fate might b▓e in store for us.We were only f▓oolishly concerned lest we might not be a▓ble to share it — lest it mig▓ht separate us! In this plain cour●ting of martyrdom I realized that ●we showed our love at its hollowest, its most d▓efective

.‘How disgusting I ●must seem to you’ said Justine once ‘wi▓th my obsce

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ne jumble of conf▓licting ideas: all this sickly preoccup●ation with God and a total inability t●o obey the smallest moral injunction from my in▓ner nature like being faithfu●l to a man one adores.I tremble for mys▓elf, my dear one, I tremble.● If only I could escape from the tir▓esome classical Jewess of neurology….If● only

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I could peel it off.’ Duri▓ng this period, while Melissa was away in Pa▓lestine on a cure (I had borrow●ed the money from Justine in order for her ●to go) we had several narrow escapes.For ex▓ample, one day we were talking, Just▓ine and I, in the great bedroom of the hou▓se.We had come in from bathing and

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